I've alluded to the fact that life has been pretty wild around here lately. There's been a lot going on behind the scenes. Nothing terrible, though, so that's a good thing. Just lots of changes. I know I've said this before, but when it rains it pours around here and it's about time things start moving in a good direction with gusto!
First of all, my husband has been working crazy ass hours. At first I was pretty pissed - ok a lot pissed - but then I got over it and focused on the positives. And there are positives, I'll just leave it there. But, it's made some of our days, and mostly our nights really chaotic and it's been a shift for everyone in the house.
Also on the job front, you remember that I posted about needing positive vibes for a job interview and more recently I mentioned getting a job. Well, the deeper story goes that I originally put in for a job way back in January, but didn't hear anything for the longest time. Then (around the time I asked for that positive thought), I finally got contacted for an interview. For the first time probably ever I felt like I nailed the interview! I was comfortable in the facility, I felt like I took to the management well and vice versa and something just felt... right. I left pretty hyped up and then.... silence. So, bummed that I thought I didn't get the position, I put in for something else. Not as good of a job, a bit lower in pay and certainly lacking in the quality of benefits, but still something that I saw as a step forward that was needed for myself and my family. This scenario moved quite fast, and I was offered the position with a start date a month out. I was happy with that. Then... last week I got a phone call. I was chosen for the original position that I thought I didn't get! I was standing in the middle of a store when I got the call and I almost jumped ten feet in the air! haha. Now I find myself in the position of having to let someone down to take this opportunity, but it's what I have to do. I know long term I wouldn't be completely happy in job #2, while job #1 offers a TON of future growth and fantastic benefits for not only myself but my entire family. This is a break I've been waiting for for a very long time. I'm really excited.
Of course all this good news wouldn't be complete without another major change: If all goes well in the next couple of weeks we will be signing the papers for our new home back in the damn city where we belong!! This year has been rough. I don't know how or why my husband and I thought we could go back to small town living and be happy. I'm not going to lie - this has been a miserable year of living here and I know for a fact that the stress has impacted me in a lot of ways. We have not "fit in" to this neighborhood, neither have our kids, and to be honest, we don't want to now. Word to the wise: Do not EVER move up the 28 corridor. There is nothing to see up here, stay where you are! Hard lesson learned. Fingers crossed that soon we'll be spending our days on the North Side again! I won't have to drive in and make a special trip out of running on the North Shore Trail, I can just get right on it like before!
This blog post really resonated with me. It makes a lot of sense, and I would add to it that the feelings of disappointment and embarrassment that come after not completing a goal makes it even worse. At least for me. Announcing my injury and failure to run this year's Pittsburgh Marathon was incredibly humiliating. And I think it's because injury is always seen as an "at fault" thing where you're the one that screwed up and caused it and you should have been doing a million and one things to prevent it like foam rolling, stretching, hot yoga, the paleo diet, begging your fairy godmother, or offering up your first born. I mean, even the most elite athletes get injured... some chronically so. Life goes on. But not announcing specific goals really makes sense to me... So, I'm not going to do it anymore. I'm running MCM. Yes, I want to get there injury free and finish the race without dying. Any other specifics than that can reside deep in the nooks and crannies of my noggin. ;) Oh, and I also have HUGE plans for running/fitness in 2016 - so much so that I already have my potential training plan penciled in (in a color coded spreadsheet.. lol). We'll just have to see what happens there too.
I'm going to admit to struggling with something in regards to my running here. I'm having a problem balancing heart rate training and accurate pacing. I know that sounds screwed up, especially for me, but listen. I'm starting to think that, especially immediately after an injury recovery period, my bones/etc might not be as caught up, or fit you could say, as my cardiovascular system. I kept up my cardio really well during my non-running weeks. I'm not seeing any loss of pace/fitness at all since my training for Pittsburgh.. in fact, I'm actually running statistically faster than I have in a very long time. Now, I'm not feeling any injuries coming on (I'd tell you if I did), but if I keep running my long run by "long run heart rate" I'm running very near (and probably even faster than) what I believe to be marathon race pace... And I'm not sure that's a good idea. Last year I did all my long runs between 9:20-9:40 and ran a 3:57.. so pretty damn close to the "30 secs faster than long run pace" theory. When I was training for PGH, my long runs were a bit faster then the standard 30-60 secs slower method, but that's what the training plan required and that plan also required a good chunk of long run miles to be done AT race pace. Now I'm not using that same plan, and this one specifically mentions "around 1 minute per mile slower", but up to this point I've been ignoring specific paces on everything except speedwork and running in my set heart rate zones instead. My last two long runs have been 8:40-8:50ish. I absolutely wholeheartedly do not believe that I can run a marathon 30 seconds faster per mile than that. So, I'm thinking - at least for my long runs - to slow it down, no matter what my heart rate says. I know that sounds counter-intuitive, but I can't help but think that I need to let my whole body catch up a bit and I'm honestly just damn scared that I'm going to run a long run too hard too fast and then fuck myself out of another marathon which would in turn screw me out of all the awesome plans I'm looking forward to in 2016. Maybe I'm just crazy. I don't know. I have 12 miles scheduled for tomorrow and I'm going to play around a bit but I think I'll make a decision on slowing down all further long runs after I see what tomorrow brings.
If you made it through this rambling, kudos to you! :)
Happy running/racing this weekend!